Saturday, August 30, 2014

Create your own adventure

Not like that. Though wouldn't that be cool? I loved and hated those books, whenever I got an 'adventure' I didn't like, I would just go back and choose the other option, which was totally not the point, but that's what I did.

StephanieSteph, and Ashley are hosting this awesome monthly challenge link up, and the challenge for September is fitness and the link up to share our results will be October 2nd.

So of course I jumped at the chance to do something that would keep me accountable. I have really been struggling with motivation lately, so this challenge should help give me the push I need.

Not Entirely Perfect

Here is my goal for the month of September:

- Do some sort of exercise at least 6 days a week - running, yoga, strength training, walking, a quick youtube video, anything. I know you need rest days so I'm not planning on running every day, but I want to try and be as active as possible. 

I also have other goals this month that aren't fitness related, and I am hoping to keep them quiet until I (hopefully) succeed. 

It's only 30 days - I can do it. Are you going to do this challenge?

Friday, August 29, 2014

Holiday Faves

Huzzah! Friday. Technically, yesterday was my Friday because I am on holiday today! We are leaving today for our 'Boston' trip. We are calling it the Boston trip even though we are only going to Boston for a day. I'm so excited! Girls trip, bucket list what what.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Today, I thought I would share some of my favourite things about going on holidays, or vacation if you will.

1. Sleeping in! Or not. 

Sleeping in is the best. But because I am crazy planner lady, my favourite thing to do is stuff! Getting up early and squeezing as much into a day as humanly possible is the best. The fact that it's my choice to get up (and not because of work, ugh) makes it fundiddlyun.

2. No worries.

The only thing I'm worried about is the weather, or flights. But everything else? No shoes, no shirt.. no fucks!

3. Dressing Up + Going out

I mainly wear work clothes so I get excited when I step out of the work appropriate or sleep appropriate rut I'm in.

Plus, going out on the town on vacay is so fun. All the funs shall be had!

4. Shopping!

Shopping on holiday is my fave! I used to collect souvenirs like magnets or lame tshirts (ahem, still do), but now I buy clothes, shoes or house decor (that will fit in my suitcase) so that I can be like, 'oh this old thing? Got it in London'. Shopping with my girlfriends is even more fun.

5. Calories don't count on holiday.

Well they do, but.. shut up will you, I'm on vacay! Let me enjoy my ice cream and chocolate and pancakes.

And let's not forget the most important holiday food group..

Linking up with Amanda, but of course! Have a great Labor Day Weekend everyone!


meet @ the barre


What's your favourite thing about vacation - or holidaying?

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Mean

The other day KC was telling me about a podcast that was talking about the death of Robin Williams. I can't remember word for word, and KC probably paraphrased as well, but this is basically what the guy said; "When I was younger, it was okay not to like something. You said 'I don't like that, I don't hate it, I just don't like it. Not my style. Not my jam'. You didn't say 'I hate that, it's horrible, worst thing in the world' and other appalling things. Worse than attacking a movie or album, you didn't attack a person like that. But kids these days.. especially with the internet, are just ruthless. I wonder if some of them feel guilty over what they said about his new TV show? Yeah it wasn't my thing, but I didn't attack them or Robin Williams as a person like I saw others do". etc etc.

It got me thinking. When did this become okay? Has it always been this way, but with the internet we are more aware of it? Much like crime, we think it's gotten worse but it could just be because we are more knowledgeable and there are movies and TV shows that play on our fears?

I don't think I am a very nice person. I think I am okay, but I don't think I am sugar and spice and all that jazz. If you know me, nice is not how you would describe me. Just how I am. But I am not mean. I am not a bad person, I would never knowingly hurt someone, or do something that I would not like done to myself.

If I was a celebrity, I would read things that were written about me. And it would break my heart, I am sure. I know they say you get used to it, get a thicker skin, or just don't read it but, I know me. I know I would read, I would cry, and it would hurt me like a personal attack. How can people not think about these things before lashing out at someone they don't know? Did you see what happened with Zelda, his daughter? You can read it here, so sad how cruel people can be.

Now I'm not saying we all start sugar coating what we're saying and never say a bad word about another person again, because controversy and conflict interest people. I don't like Tom Cruise, I read articles where they talk shit about him and it makes me laugh. So I'm not perfect. It just got the wheels in my rusty brain moving, that's all.

Another example. I like Taylor Swift. So sue me. I don't care about her love life. She's like 3 years younger than me, but I am certain if I was writing songs at her age, when she started, they'd all be about boys and heartbreak as well. So what? It was a joke to most people, oh there's a Taylor Swift song for that. But then she started dating that kid from One Direction, Harry Styles. I'm not a One Direction fan, I don't hate them, it's just not my style. I'm sure I would have been in love with them when I was a tween, much like I was with Hanson or BSB. But damn I don't think I would have ever been as mean as some of these kids were to Taylor. Yeah, it was on the internet, but still. What gives you the right to talk shit about someone you don't know, just because she's dating a singer you like? That you'll probably never meet? Do you think you invented the boy band craze? Do you think you are special, you are the first to hang posters on your walls and dream about marrying one of them? You're not. Hello, Beatle Mania. Now I'm sure most One Direction fans are excluded from this, but seriously, some of the things I read. Saying they wanted her to die, she was a slut, a horrible person, a manipulative bitch etc. Seriously, why?

On one hand, we are giving out 'participation awards' to every Tom, Dick and Harry so we don't hurt anyone's feelings, and everything is censored and politically incorrect to say this or that. On the other hand, people are just so... mean.

I apologise for my rambly post, I am not a good writer like my buddy Alyssa and when something bugs me it comes out like word vomit. I don't know what the point of today's post is really, off the chest it just had to go.

most appropriate gif ever

I wrote this post before Taylor's new song came out, which I totally love by the way, but it seems she doesn't need me to stick up for her (wha??) but I'm gonna anyway. Shake it off, shake shake shake it off!


Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Thoughts on dieting + body image

Diet. What a horrible word. I have struggled with my weight since I was like 11, but that's a post for never another day. I have been on my share of stupid 'diets', and probably your share as well. And today, I thought I would share some of those with you. Keep in mind, like most things I post, that this is as tongue in cheek as it gets and if you are easily offended, scamper off. This is how I deal with my past, attempting to make light of it. It is not a funny issue, I am aware, but as I said. Me. Mon blog.

So let's get started, shall we?

1. Not eating.

I thought this was a brilliant idea when I was younger, after mean girls at school called me some mean things. Right after that, the modeling agency I had just signed up with requested that I lose 10 kg. Thats 22 lbs. I was probably 55 kg at the time. I reached the goal of 45 kg, but also put me in 2 types of hospitals.


2. Eating a lot, and then throwing up.

Never fear, my stupid teenage self thought she invented this idea, I ate and then threw it all up. Again with the 2 hospitals and still to this day I have issues with throwing up.


3. Eating very little.

Ok, since the other 2 didn't work out, I'll just eat the bare minimum. Less than 500 calories a day. brilliant. Who needs calories anyway?


4. The one where I give no fucks and ate all the foods.

I was working at McDonalds, promoted to manager which meant... free food, holla. I ate. and then ate some more. I worked 5am - 1pm every day, stopped by the grocery on the way home for some ice cream, lollies, soda, and chips. Every. Day. Did I mention I had no friends, and obviously no boyfriend?


5. Low carb.

Ah yes I tried to undo the mess I had done. Low carb was all the craze. I don't remember a lot of this time because my brain stopped working and I was tired all the time.


6. Eating only fruits & vegetables.

Not sure what I was thinking with this one. By the end of the day I was eating mcdonalds fries telling myself 'potatoes are vegetables'.


7. Juicing / Cleanses.

I do not do well on these. I like food. and chewing. and science.


8. Heartbreak.

Ah, this has probably been my most effective 'diet' yet. When KC and I broke up for a bit in 2011 the thought of doing anything, including eating made me so sick. I tried to force myself to eat, because I was smarter than teenage me, but it would just make me throw up. So I lost like 15 lbs. When I started feeling better, I increased my exercise to match my new appetite so I could maintain the new skinny me, or lose even more weight. I was on top of my running game. Then KC and I got back together and I got all happy, and hello 15 lbs.


9. The one with the disease.

Oh this was fun. It took 3 years of me throwing up, among other symptoms, for someone to finally diagnose me with celiac disease. At first I jumped on the 'everything that says gluten free bandwagon' and then I started to learn more about what was naturally gluten free, rather than the packaged stuff. I'm still working on cutting out gluten entirely, because it is really hard to say no to pizza. or cake. or  bread.


10. The non-diet diet.

aka the one that works. At a particularly rough time, I stumbled on The Londoner's Anti-Diet post. It was just what I needed at the time. It changed my way of thinking and I started learning more about eating well and 'clean' and exercising for fitness, not just to lose weight. Seems simple enough, eat well + exercise.



I try my best to eat well most of the time, and 'cheat' every now and again, but honestly it's something that I will struggle with for the rest of my life because it's a mental thing first and foremost.

It's hard not to be grossed out by what I see in the mirror. I am constantly horribly mean to myself, saying things I wouldn't dare say to another person.


Some nice people try and tell me I don't need to lose weight, and I know they mean well, but actually that's what started this whole mess in 7th grade. It just makes me want to lose weight even more, and puts me in the 'alone' and 'they don't understand' corner.


The fact is, everyone views themselves differently than others do. I'm the first to defend others when they talk shit about themselves, but it doesn't stop me from doing it to myself.


I am still working on not turning to food every time something bad happens. Or when something good happens. Or when something happens, at all.


And don't get me started on comparing myself to others. Celebrities, friends, bloggers, it sucks. I know I'm not alone. I am better than I was, but it's really stupidly hard to stop. Sometimes I have epiphanies and I am happy with myself and I remember that 'comparison is the thief of joy' quote.


So I feel really awesome and badass for a little while.


All while dreaming of my next meal, of course.


Lastly, Rebecca posted about this video and liking yourself here and I urge you to watch it as well, and think about the question. Seriously, if you haven't seen it, carve out 5 minutes of your time and watch it. With a box of tissues. It made me so sad and mad at myself for treating myself the way I do.


I am more determined than ever to focus on health & fitness, and not 'skinny' as my finish line. Because even at my skinniest, I wanted to lose more. It never ends when that's what you are focusing on.

How bout you? Have you ever tried a crazy 'diet'?